To experience joy, we must know sadness. This is the principle of the world into which our bodies were born and where our emotions and experiences belong. If sadness is just right, it enriches our mental life and brings us information, without which our personality and its development would otherwise stagnate. But how do we deal with grief that becomes suffering and does not seem to have a beginning or an end?
Sadness is part of the basic equipment of our emotional life. Sometimes it can come for no apparent reason, andsometimes it is a distressing reaction to specific situations. It acts both at the level of the body (stress that causes sadness causes changes at the level of the brain) and the soul (sadness is experienced as an unpleasant state of suffering).
Sadness is our reaction to loss – the loss of a loved one, the sadness after breaking up with a partner, these are real losses. At the level of our mind, which has the gift of imagination, one can feel sad over even imaginary losses: loss of possibilities, freedom, loss of security (financial or emotional – for example, missing one’s parents). These are losses closely linked to today’s environment, and are a challenge for each of us.
Sorrow comes at a time when our minds decide that there is no reason to fight and we have no way to further influence or reverse the situation we are in. The purpose of sadness is to slow down the body after previous stress. This creates a space in which we can process what happened, while healing our wounds and slowly returning our lives to normal.
Sadness needs its time. But today’s narrative often urges us to get rid of grief or other inconveniences as quickly as possible. The first recommendation is to be patient with yourself. However, the psychotherapeutic process can help vent grief, which in dialogue with an expert will allow you to “live through it in a healthy manner” and in the future equip yourself with such internal resources that will help you cope with similar moments more easily.
An important aspect of grief turns out to be that after a while it subsides, it ends. If you carry old griefs into your life or your inner grief does not subside, this is probably at the expense of your quality of life and health (long-term grief can result in higher inflammation of the body). Talking to an expert, whether through online therapy or an in-person meeting, can be a good springboard for working on topics that your mind can avoid if they are too threatening to it.
Sorrow does not need to be treated, it is not a disease, but proof that everything is “in place”. The challenge is to learn to work with it – to understand it, to give it space in our lives and to enable it to be our partner and not the enemy. Online psychotherapy will guide you through this process. Instead of suffering, it will help you bring growth to your life and enable you to consciously experience sorrow and all other emotions.
“I don’t feel like doing anything in spring and autumn, I feel irritated and without energy. The more I try to overcome it, the worse I get. I never went to a specialist because I don’t suffer from depression, I knew that. But then a friend told me that I didn’t have to be alone with my sorrow and recommended me to her psychotherapist. The feeling that someone is not downplaying what you are experiencing and not trying to sell you guaranteed advice is priceless. Just by listening to yourself, you will find that it is you who can best help yourself. And I’ve found that, like nature, I sometimes need to slow down, spend more time doing what makes me happy, and most importantly, talk to my loved ones about my needs. Now I am not afraid of my grief, I have accepted it into life as my inner counselor, who will knock on my shoulder every time I forget about myself.”